People often mistake me for nice and sweet. At least people in Manila. The culprit's my accent. I find it funny when people get shocked to discover that I'm actually very mean and dark. Back home, people who know me would laugh at the suggestion that I'm sweet. Truth is, I feel like puking when people say that. Other times I get pissed.
But lately, I'm finding it easier to not disappoint them. I find that it actually works to my advantage--them thinking I'm nice. And I don't mean that in a self-serving way. What I'm saying is, I actually draw inspiration from their expectations. I get motivated to be nice and polite, to see the good in people, and to not think ill of anyone. And I find that it makes me like myself better. I feel light and positive, like a Jedi.
Is this age kicking in? Am I finally maturing? Or, will I cringe when I read this entry tomorrow?
Lightness and positivity aside, I accomplished something very important today: I passed the exam for my open water diver's license. It wasn't exactly a walk in the park, considering that we were usually very tired during the classroom sessions, so I'm really proud of my performance. Or perhaps I'm just relieved to know I still have it. These past months I've been feeling slow and stupid. I don't absorb new learning as easily anymore. I blame age, but then again, it could be my diet.
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